Jennie Gerhardt - Драйзер Теодор. Страница 73
through the crowded streets.
"You're welcome to him," replied Jennie pleasantly. "He ought to dance. I sometimes wish I did."
"You ought to take lessons right away then," replied Lester genially. "I'll do my best to keep you company. I'm not as light on my feet as I was
once, but I guess I can get around."
"Oh, I don't want to dance that badly," smiled Jennie. "But you two go on, I'm going upstairs in a little while, anyway."
"Why don't you come sit in the ball-room? I can't do more than a few rounds. Then we can watch the others," said Lester rising.
"No. I think I'll stay here. It's so pleasant. You go. Take him, Mrs.
Gerald."
Lester and Letty strolled away. They made a striking pair—Mrs. Gerald
in dark wine-coloured silk, covered with glistening black beads, her
shapely arms and neck bare, and a flashing diamond of great size set just above her forehead in her dark hair. Her lips were red, and she had an
engaging smile, showing an even row of white teeth between wide, full,
friendly lips. Lester's strong, vigorous figure was well set off by his
evening clothes, he looked distinguished.
"That is the woman he should have married," said Jennie to herself as he disappeared. She fell into a reverie, going over the steps of her past life.
Sometimes it seemed to her now as if she had been living in a dream. At
other times she felt as though she were in that dream yet. Life sounded in her ears much as this night did. She heard its cries. She knew its large-mass features. But back of it were subtleties that shaded and changed one into the other like the shifting of dreams. Why had she been so attractive to men? Why had Lester been so eager to follow her? Could she have
prevented him? She thought of her life in Columbus, when she carried
coal; to-night she was in Egypt, at this great hotel, the chatelaine of a suite of rooms, surrounded by every luxury, Lester still devoted to her. He had endured so many things for her! Why? Was she so wonderful?
Brander had said so. Lester had told her so. Still she felt humble, out of place, holding handfuls of jewels that did not belong to her. Again she
experienced that peculiar feeling which had come over her the first time
she went to New York with Lester—namely, that this fairy existence
could not endure. Her life was fated. Something would happen. She
would go back to simple things, to a side street, a poor cottage, to old
clothes.
And then as she thought of her home in Chicago, and the attitude of his
friends, she knew it must be so. She would never be received, even if he
married her. And she could understand why. She could look into the
charming, smiling face of this woman who was now with Lester, and see
that she considered her very nice, perhaps, but not of Lester's class. She was saying to herself now no doubt as she danced with Lester that he
needed some one like her. He needed some one who had been raised in
the atmosphere of the things to which he had been accustomed. He
couldn't very well expect to find in her, Jennie, the familiarity with, the appreciation of the niceties to, which he had always been accustomed.
She understood what they were. Her mind had awakened rapidly to
details of furniture, clothing, arrangement, decorations, manner, forms,
customs, but—she was not to the manner born.
If she went away Lester would return to his old world, the world of the
attractive, well-bred, clever woman who now hung upon his arm. The
tears came into Jennie's eyes; she wished, for the moment, that she might die. It would be better so. Meanwhile Lester was dancing with Mrs.
Gerald, or sitting out between the waltzes talking over old times, old
places, and old friends. As he looked at Letty he marvelled at her youth
and beauty. She was more developed than formerly, but still as slender
and shapely as Diana. She had strength, too, in this smooth body of hers, and her black eyes were liquid and lusterful.
"I swear, Letty," he said impulsively, "you're really more beautiful than ever. You're exquisite. You've grown younger instead of older."
"You think so?" she smiled, looking up into his face.
"You know I do, or I wouldn't say so. I'm not much on philandering."
"Oh, Lester, you bear, can't you allow a woman just a little coyness?
Don't you know we all love to sip our praise, and not be compelled to
swallow it in one great mouthful?"
"What's the point?" he asked. "What did I say?"
"Oh, nothing. You're such a bear. You're such a big, determined,
straightforward boy. But never mind. I like you. That's enough, isn't it?"
"It surely is," he said.
They strolled into the garden as the music ceased, and he squeezed her
arm softly. He couldn't help it; she made him feel as if he owned her. She wanted him to feel that way. She said to herself, as they sat looking at the lanterns in the gardens, that if ever he were free, and would come to her, she would take him. She was almost ready to take him anyhow—only he
probably wouldn't. He was so straight-laced, so considerate. He wouldn't, like so many other men she knew, do a mean thing. He couldn't. Finally
Lester rose and excused himself. He and Jennie were going farther up the
Nile in the morning—toward Karnak and Thebes and the water-washed
temples at Phylae. They would have to start at an unearthly early hour,
and he must get to bed.
"When are you going home?" asked Mrs. Gerald, ruefully.
"In September."
"Have you engaged your passage?"
"Yes; we sail from Hamburg on the ninth—the Fulda."
"I may be going back in the fall," laughed Letty. "Don't be surprised if I crowd in on the same boat with you. I'm very unsettled in my mind."
"Come along, for goodness sake," replied Lester. "I hope you do. . . . I'll see you to-morrow before we leave." He paused, and she looked at him wistfully.
"Cheer up," he said, taking her hand. "You never can tell what life will do. We sometimes find ourselves right when we thought we were all
wrong."
He was thinking that she was sorry to lose him, and he was sorry that she was not in a position to have what she wanted. As for himself, he was
saying that here was one solution that probably he would never accept;
yet it was a solution. Why had he not seen this years before?
"And yet she wasn't as beautiful then as she is now, nor as wise, nor as wealthy." Maybe! Maybe! But he couldn't be unfaithful to Jennie nor
wish her any bad luck. She had had enough without his willing, and had
borne it bravely.
CHAPTER XLVII
The trip home did bring another week with Mrs. Gerald, for after mature
consideration she had decided to venture to America for a while. Chicago
and Cincinnati were her destinations, and she hoped to see more of
Lester. Her presence was a good deal of a surprise to Jennie, and it started her thinking again. She could see what the point was. If she were out of
the way Mrs. Gerald would marry Lester; that was certain. As it was—
well, the question was a complicated one. Letty was Lester's natural mate, so far as birth, breeding, and position went. And yet Jennie felt
instinctively that, on the large human side, Lester preferred her. Perhaps time would solve the problem; in the meantime the little party of three
continued to remain excellent friends. When they reached Chicago Mrs.