Every Last Breath - Armentrout Jennifer L.. Страница 68

Roth appeared rather pleased with himself. “Say hi to Stony for me.”

I shot him a look, and he appeared completely unrepentant as he winked and then swooped down, kissing me once more before he let go. But there was a part of me that thought Roth wasn’t being a jerk when it came to his request, and that alone was kind of amazing.

* * *

Cold grass crunched under my boots as I crossed the lawn, heading for the bench. The temps had jumped over the past couple of days, melting the snow, and the sun was out, and even though it was still chilly, people were out everywhere on the National Mall.

Sitting down, I immediately winced as the iciness from the wood seeped through my jeans and chilled my bum. I hunkered down in my sweater, squinting at the bright winter sun.

Humans milled about, heading for the museums, some sitting on benches playing chess, others out jogging and being all healthy. Did any of them know how close they’d come to the legit end of the world, like the trumpets blaring and rivers running with blood kind of end of the world?

I really didn’t even have to ask myself that question, because I already knew the answer. Even with the gargoyles awakening and wreaking havoc and even with all those poor people who’d seemingly dropped dead on the streets, mankind seriously had no idea what a near miss they’d had with the apocalypse.

We’d saved the day. I’d saved the day, and they would never know.

Man, it was kind of like being Batman, but without the cool cape.

But if I were Batman would that make Roth, Robin, the Boy Wonder? Ah, no. I couldn’t see him being down for that, but the thought made me grin from ear to ear.

The sound of footsteps drew my attention, and I looked up. Zayne was a few feet away from me, one of his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans and the other holding a square black bag. His shoulders were hunched, his chin dipped low. My stomach did a weird wiggle, not entirely pleasant.

My familiar didn’t affect my ability to see auras like Bambi had, but now I almost wished it did. That would be better than having to see how...how dull the glow around Zayne had become. The antique white of his aura was a constant reminder of what I’d done to him.

And it hadn’t been the only thing.

My grin weakened a bit, but I didn’t let it fade away, because despite everything, I was happy to see him.

“Hey,” he said, and he smiled, but it didn’t reach those vibrant eyes. God, I missed that smile, how he did it with his face—his whole being. “You came.”

I gave a little shake of my head. “Of course I came. I told you I would.”

“Yeah, you did.” He sat beside me, placing the bag on the other side, and then shoved both hands in his pockets as he stared straight ahead. Several moments passed. “I just thought maybe you would’ve changed your mind...or something.”

Understanding seeped in. “I wouldn’t change my mind, and Roth would never ask that of me.”

Zayne’s head swung in my direction. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then tried again. “I... I like your hair like that.”

“Oh.” I reached up, gingerly poking at my bun. “I honestly didn’t feel like doing anything with it.”

“It’s different.” He glanced at me and then quickly averted his gaze. “Anyway, I wanted to see you, to tell you that I’m glad that you’re okay. I didn’t get the chance to tell you that when you showed up at the house. All of us were pretty shocked to see you.” The longer he spoke, the more some of the awkwardness fell by the wayside. “When we’d heard that the Lilin was dead, well...we knew what that meant. I knew what that meant.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. I realized that I’d been saying that a lot, but I still meant it. I just wished I could say something else.

A quick grin appeared before vanishing. “I know you are. What you did was incredibly brave.

Crazy, but brave. I’m not going to lecture you for it. I’m sure... I’m sure Roth has already done that.”

He paused, taking a deep breath. “You know, you can’t doubt what you really are, anymore. Inside.

You have to know. To make that kind of choice you made, you can no longer doubt your worth. I just... I just wanted you to know that.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a shaky breath. “I... Thank you.” That was all I could say, because he was right. I knew what I was on the inside. Being a demon or a Warden didn’t make me who I was. My decisions and my actions did. And I wasn’t perfect—and I wasn’t evil. I was just me.

A breeze tossed a strand of his blond hair across the chiseled line of his jaw. “Enough about me,” I said, and Zayne chuckled. “What?” I asked.

He slid his hands out of his pockets as he leaned back against the bench, relaxing. “Layla-bug, you died and came back to life. Kind of hard not to focus on that.”

At the sound of my nickname, I got a little giddy inside. “Okay. Good point...” I racked my brain for something to say and found it. “I’m going back to school next week. Roth and Cayman did their thing and the school officials think I’ve been out with mono or something. I can catch up and graduate on time.”

“That’s good.” Sincerity clung to his voice. “What about college?”

I shifted on the bench. “I think I’m going to apply for spring semester—to some of the colleges around here, but once I’m done with school, I kind of want to travel.” Thinking back to the conversation I’d had with Roth about seeing the world, I smiled. “I’ve never been anywhere and I want to see things—the beach, the mountains—a desert. I have time to do that. Lots of time.”

“That’s right. I don’t know how I keep forgetting that you...you’re not going to age or anything.”

His jaw tightened. “I think it’s good, though—the whole travel thing. You’ll have fun.”

“Yeah.” It was weird and something I honestly didn’t obsess over, but I was forever going to look like this...unless someone managed to stab me in the heart or chop my head off. I really needed to change the subject again. “But really, enough about me. I want to know how you’re doing with everything.”

He raised one broad shoulder. “Taking it day by day, to be honest. A couple of the nearby clans are coming in, to scope everything out. It’s nothing to worry about,” he added when I tensed. “It’s just procedural crap from what Nicolai and Dez have said.”

“They’ve been a lot of help, haven’t they?”

“Yeah. I’ve got a couple more years before I need to take over, and I know between the two of them, they will do things right. They’re going to bring about some of the change that is needed, especially with how close Nicolai and Danika are getting.”

I grinned, still liking the idea of those two together. “Change is definitely needed. Things have been a bit...archaic.” If Danika had her way, and I couldn’t see her stopping until she did, then the females of the clan would have a heck of a lot more choices in the future. “But aside from your responsibilities to the clan, how are you?”

His brows knitted together. “It’s hard some days,” he admitted quietly. “Talking to Stacey has been good. She...she understands, you know?” He paused while I nodded. “I know my father and I didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things toward the end, but he was my dad, and I loved him.” He glanced at me.

“He loved you. You know that, right? Underneath it all, he did care for you.”

Recalling the conversation Zayne and I had after Abbot died, I nodded. “I know.”

“I miss him.”

I started to reach over to squeeze his arm, but halted halfway. I wasn’t sure if he wanted that kind of comfort from me now.

Zayne must have caught the movement out of the corner of his eyes, because he half turned, picking up the black bag. “I brought you something.”

My brows flew up. “You did?”

He nodded as he reached inside. “I thought you might be missing this.”