Slut - Woodruff Jettie. Страница 57
“You watched me have sex with Tatiana?”
I narrowed my eyes and pulled my hand from his, dropping the stupid stone I hadn’t even realized I was holding, to the bed. “All that and that’s what you got out of it, huh?”
“Is that sarcasm? What? I don’t get it. What did you want me to get out of it?”
“I don’t know, Paxton. Maybe the part where you let me wait in line with my daughter for three hours, and then took it away from me. Maybe the part where I confessed what a stupid girl I was, drooling over your stupid ass while you were married,” I said, voice elevating as I went.
“What do you want me to say? I would never do that now. I love that you know these things about our girls, and I had no idea you felt that way. You never told me.”
“You never fucking asked, Paxton.”
“Whoa, Gabriella. If this is what’s going to happen every time we do this, then let’s quit. I’m trying my best to keep you from getting upset. I’m trying to be here for you. I can’t change what I did before. I’m okay with doing this with you, for your memory, but not if it means this. I’d rather you not know than see you upset. I can’t change it, baby.”
I took a deep breath and calmed down. He was right. Paxton may not have been the man I knew he could be, but he was definitely a work in progress. At least he was working. I guess that meant something.
“What happened after that, Paxton? How the hell did I end up being your wife? I don’t get it.”
Paxton moved his laptop and pulled me to him, forcing me to lay on the bed with him. I kept my hands behind my head, my eyes on the ceiling, and a pout on my lips. He may have been able to make me listen, but he couldn’t make me like it.
“I was angry at Tatiana, not you.”
“I was just the one you took it out on, right? The poor little fucked up girl living in your house. In the wrong place at the right time. You knew exactly what you were doing, didn’t you, Paxton?”
My body squirmed when he placed his hand up my shirt and on my stomach. I didn’t want him touching me. I didn’t want him anywhere near me. “I’m not going to lie to you, Gabriella. I had a well thought out plan, and you made it easy when you came to me carrying my baby. I knew I had you, hook, line and sinker. You did everything I told you to do, and you were more than willing to marry me. I never twisted your arm.”
“But you already told me that you didn’t give me a choice, that you didn’t ask me to marry you. You told me I had to.”
“Oh, fuck that shit, Gabriella. You could have stopped it and you know it.”
“How? We already know I didn’t stand up to you.”
“But you could have. You do now. You fucking punched me in the eye. You could have threatened to call nine-one-one, like you did after you got out of jail. I don’t want that shit. I don’t want cops coming to my house around my kids for domestic violence. I had no idea what you’d tell them. You could have fought back, Gabriella. You didn’t.”
“And you could have loved me like you loved her, Paxton, but you didn’t. I don’t know if you’re the stupid fish or if I am.”
“What does that even mean, Gabriella?”
“You know. Did I bite, hook, line, and sinker, or did you?”
“Maybe we both did, Gabriella. Maybe we’re both stupid fish, fighting for the same hook. Maybe it’s just as much your fault as it is mine.”
I pulled my hair between my fingers and groaned. As dumb as it sounded coming from his mouth, it sort of made sense to me. What did that make me? Stupid, stupid, fish.
Fifteen
The next couple of days were as normal as our dysfunctional family could make them. Paxton worked, the girls and I went about our everyday routine, and we signed papers for Rowan to advance to the second grade. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure about her teacher though. I was expecting a Miss, not a Mr. He was nice enough, but I wasn’t convinced he was smarter than my daughter. That was yet to be determined. Rowan liked him, so I guess that was all that mattered.
I worried myself sick waiting for news from The State of Michigan, and Paxton and I watched another video, but it was more of the same, the night Tatiana showed up at our house. She was shocked that I had Phi, and Rowan wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. The whole thing was peculiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on why, or what. We didn’t learn anything that we argued about, that was the main thing.
Paxton and I had just started to paint the trim around the new window in my old room when we got the call. We didn’t mean to get started that late, but by the time we recharged our family stones, and had sex on the drop cloth, it was nearly ten. I was on my phone, searching for someone who could make custom seat covers for the seat. I loved the seat, loved the view overlooking the ocean, and I loved how Paxton turned it into a little nook with a built-in bookshelf on one end, and a fold down desk on the other.
“Here’s one. It’s over on Oak. Want me to call them tomorrow?”
“I’ll do it. What about blue and white stripes? That would look nice in here.”
I thought about Paxton’s suggestion briefly, wondering how to break it to him easy. “Hmm, how about not. I’ll call. I think a charcoal gray would look nice with the walls. I don’t like the stripe idea. What size do we need?”
Paxton’s look was glazed over when I glanced up from my phone, wondering why he didn’t answer.
“What?” I questioned.
“Um, nothing. It’s the same size as a twin mattress.”
I turned off my phone and rolled my eyes.
Paxton was the one to question my motives that time. “What?”
“I don’t need a custom seat made, you big dumb idiot. All I need is a mattress store. I’ll buy the cover I want.”
Paxton dipped the tip of his brush into his paint cup and began the tedious job. “Oh, yeah, that makes sense. We’ll go one night next week.”
“I’ll go tomorrow while the girls are at dance.”
“Yeah, I don’t really like you doing things while the girls are at dance. Stay with them. We’ll go together.”
“Why? You afraid I’m going to find someone else to hypnotize me? I can go Paxton. You have enough going on. I don’t need you to go with me to pick out a mattress. I—”
Paxton held up one finger, shushing me when his phone rang. I let out an exasperated breath and dipped my own brush. Ten o’clock at night and he was still taking work calls.
“Pierce Pools and Landscaping. Oh, hi. How are you?”
I looked over, realizing it wasn’t a work call, halting movement of my brush midair. My heart started to beat in a quick rapid pace. The more I listened, the harder it beat.
“Yes, we can do that.”
“Do what?” I questioned while stepping closer to him. I could hear her voice, but I couldn’t make out the words. I knew it was Jonnie White, I just couldn’t understand what the hell she said.
Paxton kept me at arm’s length with a straight arm, and a dirty look.
“Um, wow. Yeah. I mean, let me see what I can do. I’ll have to rearrange some things, but yeah, definitely. Is this a good number to reach you at? Thank you so much. I’ll get back to you as soon I know what’s going on. Thank you. Thank you so much.”
My eyebrows curled inward. Paxton passed out thank you’s like he’d just hit the lottery. It had to be something big.
“What?” I said in an elevated tone.
“You want to fly to Michigan tomorrow and meet your nephew?”
“Seriously? We get to meet him? That’s a good sign, right? I mean they wouldn’t let us see him if we didn’t have a chance, right?”
“That’s what I’m thinking. Hurry up, paint that side. I’ve got a million calls to make.”
“What about the girls? What about dance, and the mattress?”
Paxton smiled and pulled me into his arms, an attempt to calm my crazy nerves. “The mattress? We’re about to go meet Vander, and you’re worried about the mattress?”