Slow Twitch - Реинхардт Лиз. Страница 28

It wasn’t that I didn’t want sex with her; it was actually the scary reality of the fact that I wanted sex with her way too much, so much I had no control over it, that stopped me.

Or slowed me down. Because no one could really define what we were doing as “stopped.”

I kissed her legs and lower, until my mouth was right on her. I loved it. I loved the smell of her and the way she tasted. I loved being right there when she came. It was a matter of pride for me that I could make her body feel good like that. And I didn’t have to feel guilty about it; it was just me giving her a good time. Of course, I enjoyed it, but she didn’t have to do a thing to me. It was safe.

So I licked her and buried my face in her and sucked and kissed until I could feel her bucking like crazy, and then she went rigid and cried out in the stale, dark interior of the boat cabin. I laid my cheek on her thigh and watched her ribs expand and contract with the rush of air in and out of her lungs. Finally she sat up on her elbows and looked at me. She smiled a little.

“Thanks.” Her face was all glowy and her smile was big, wide, and all for me.

“No problem. At all.” Sweet goodness flooded through me.

“I want something,” she said quietly. She sat up and patted the bed next to her. I moved over by her, basically willing to do whatever.

Because I was pretty sure she wouldn’t ask for sex, which was my only real hang-up.

“You want something else?” I teased, kissing her nose. “You’re never satisfied, are you?”

“Nope.” She pushed me back with one hand flat on my chest. “Lay back.”

“Why?” I couldn’t break from smiling at her. Man, she was so beautiful, and there was something about knowing her so completely and knowing that she was mine that made her even more attractive to me.

She slid down my body, kissing me so softly it was just barely this subtle, ticklish feeling. Those kisses along with her soft hair brushing over my skin made me feel like every nerve in my body was on edge. Then her mouth was below my waist, and I sat up fast.

I had been so relaxed from seeing her satisfied that I never put it together; she was going to give me what I had given her. I was about to get head.

And I didn’t want it.

I mean, I wanted it.

But I couldn’t do it.

“Brenna, no.” I pulled back.

“Why?” she demanded, her eyes all fiery and angry.

“Because it’s too fast.”

“You’ve done it to me a few times now.” She moved back toward me.

“But it’s not the same.” I reached deep into my brain for a logical argument. Brenna responded to logic. Unfortunately, logic wasn’t always my strong suit. Especially when I didn’t have my pants on.

“You got tested.” Her voice was like the voice of the smart girls in debate club. Uh-oh. “You can’t give me an STD.”

“I know that.” I had gotten a full round of testing about a year after my wild days were over. And I was damn lucky that what I had picked up could be treated with antibiotics. I thought about it a lot; how my stupid, meaningless sex with girls I couldn’t even remember could have messed my health and my future sex life up for good.

“I want to,” she said, her voice insistent, her eyes serious. “I mean, I’ll probably suck, no pun intended. But I want to be part of this too. I don’t want to just sit and let you be the only one doing anything. I want to make you happy, Jake.”

“You do.” I grabbed her shoulders. “You really do. So don’t worry about doing more.”

She sighed. “It also turns me on to do things to you. In a different way, but I love it. You’re not being fair to me. I mean, I know you did this before with girls you didn’t love, so why am I off limits?” Her eyes looked hurt and a little embarrassed.

I hated that.

“It’s not what you think, Bren.” I raked a hand through my hair. Then I made my weird confession. “I never did. This.”

Her eyes went from squinted with embarrassed to wide open and completely pleased. “You’ve never gotten head?”

“No.” I felt my skin go hot around my neck and ears. “I told you, Bren. Mostly just drunken sex. Nothing good leading up. Nothing really good about it.”

“Then I guess you might be nervous,” she said, and looked like she was thinking.

Which seemed like an innocent thing, but there was nothing more dangerous than my girlfriend using her brain to get what she wanted. As smoking hot as Brenna was, it was her brain that was so freakishly incredible. I kind of knew I’d lost the fight right then and there.

Not that I had that many complaints. Seriously.

“Yeah, I’m nervous. And it makes me a little uncomfortable, I guess.”

She grinned now, sure of her next couple moves. “It feels like you don’t have control, right, Jake?” I nodded. “It feels like the whole thing is focused on you, and that’s kind of weird and uncomfortable, right?” I nodded again. She pushed me back with a gleeful shove. “I don’t get to do much with you that you didn’t do before.” Now her voice was kind of low and sexy and I was pretty helpless. “So, do this for me. Okay?”

And in the history of the world, I don’t think any guy could have taken that brilliant request and said no unless he was a complete idiot. I was about to get the most rewarding sexual experience of my life. What was there to argue?

But Brenna didn’t wait to see if I was going to argue anyway. She moved her mouth down along my body with those soft little kisses. And then she made it all the way down.

For a minute, I could feel her warm breath against me. I guess it was a little overwhelming. And I had no advice to give her, which was annoying. She opened her mouth and all I felt was the hot, wet slide of her along me and all around me.

I swallowed hard and grabbed at the sheets. My mind cracked open and every sexy, hot, unimaginable thing I had ever hoped to do with Brenna raced through to torture me. I had to go blank. I couldn’t tell if she was moving awkwardly or not; it felt perfect. I didn’t know if I had ever had the feeling like I was the sole focus of someone else, like the world was revolving around me alone for a little while. For a few minutes I was suspended in that weirdly excellent nothing, but my curiosity finally got the better of me.

I sat up a little and saw her and that was pretty much the biggest mistake that I could have made. I never imagined it would be possible to get more turned on than I was, but seeing her blew my mind. And then it was all shot to shit. My brain jumped and crashed, and I fell back on the bed hard and just let go of everything. I never imagined anything could feel so good.

She wiggled up next to me and smiled triumphantly. “Was it okay?”

I couldn’t think of what to say. I couldn’t think period. “Holy fucking hell,” I said. I put my arms around Brenna and held her. My girlfriend. My wildly sexy, way-too-good-for-me, incredible girlfriend.

“So it was good?” she pressed.

“It was unbelievable.” I sat up to looked right at her. I had to look at her, because I wanted her to know just by seeing my face how intensely I felt this. “You are so sexy, I can’t even describe it. I’ve never felt like that before. Ever.”

She grinned. “I’m glad you liked it.”

And it would have been pretty awesome to just lay like that for a few more minutes, just wrapped around each other. But we heard the door of the garage smash open and voices bounced off of the aluminum walls and down into our little private place.

Brenna scrambled into her clothes, and, as preoccupied as I was with getting dressed myself, I still took a minute to just enjoy her, how she looked and how much I loved just being around her.

“Who’s in here?” she whispered.

I shrugged. “It’s been a little while. Everyone who went to the beach is probably trashed by now. They won’t even notice us.”

She bit at her lips nervously.

“Don’t be nervous, Bren. You have nothing to worry about, okay?” I put a hand up to her face and ran my thumb over her cheek.