Shadow - Dohner Laurann. Страница 30
“Slow,” he demanded.
“I’m not doing anything.”
He was without humor. “I’m talking to myself, aloud.”
“You’re not doing anything. Why tell yourself that?”
“It’s what I want to do.” He peered into her eyes, searching for fear, but found none. She was entirely too trusting. It made him feel guilty, as though he were the animal Mercile used to accuse him of being. “You should go to bed alone, Beauty.”
“You slept with me before. I want you to hold me and we’ll keep talking.”
He clenched his teeth to avoid snarling. She was either attempting to provoke him or was just too naive to identify a male on the edge of losing control. He was aroused and she’d stated she was curious about sex. No way could he just lie next to her and sleep.
“Come into my room.”
Her voice was so soft, whispered, as if she were afraid. He didn’t see that emotion as he studied her. Her cheeks were a little pink though, hinting that she was embarrassed by her request. She was shy—had admitted to that already—a unique trait amongst Species.
“I won’t just sleep with you.” He wanted to warn her. “I can’t. We should wait until tomorrow night if you just want to be held.”
“What does that mean?”
“Tonight I’ll touch you and do more.”
Her pretty eyes widened slightly and more pinkness bloomed in her cheeks. “Come into my room.”
It was an invitation and an acceptance of them sharing sex. He couldn’t deny the amount of pressure he suddenly found himself under. It would rest on his shoulders to teach her that males touching her could be a good experience. Male, he amended. One. Me. The concept of someone else putting their hands on her made him furious.
“I trust you, Shadow.”
The sincerity in her tone humbled him. He didn’t deserve it. She had no idea of the demons he battled. He would do anything for her, including taking things slowly to make sure he didn’t hurt her. She wasn’t human although she appeared more so than other Species females. Never had he imagined taking a Gift to bed before meeting Beauty.
He took a deep breath and slowly rose to his feet. It just made him feel big and amplified their differences. She peered up at him nervously. He didn’t blame her, feeling the same. It had been a long time since he’d had a female. He’d avoided them because he’d been worried he’d fail to please them or his body would react negatively to the sight of them bare. Losing his erection during the sharing of sex would be humiliating but it happened sometimes when he remembered what had been done to him.
“Let’s go to my room.” He wanted her in his bed.
“Why yours and not mine?”
He hesitated. “It’s a male thing.”
“The women at the dorm always have men come to their rooms. I thought maybe it was a Species mating ritual.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. She was so innocent and cute. “The females insist on using their rooms mostly to help them feel in control and males tend to get territorial when they take females into their homes.”
“What does that mean?”
“Females don’t want to give males the impression that we can keep them.”
Her breathing changed a little, increasing in pace as her eyes widened. “Do you want to keep me?”
“Don’t be afraid.”
“I’m not. I’m asking a question.”
“I would never force you to stay where you didn’t want to be. I just want you in my bed.”
“I’m not them, you know.” She swallowed. “I don’t want to have different sexual partners. I’m not opposed to dating you.” Her gaze dropped to his chest and stayed there, her embarrassment showing again in her cheeks. “That is, if you want to try out being my boyfriend. I’d prefer to have a monogamous relationship.”
He released her hip to cup her face. It was so delicate in his hand. She met his gaze.
“I mean,” she spoke quickly, anxious. “I don’t want anybody else and I would hope you wouldn’t, you know, sleep around.”
“You really don’t know much about Species males.” He wanted to pick her up and carry her to his bed so much he actually ached to do it.
“Is it wrong to hope you won’t have sex with other women and that maybe we could try to have a real relationship?”
He backed up but kept hold of her, urging her to follow. She did and his dick throbbed, filling with blood. He wanted her so much it hurt.
“You are telling me that I can have and keep you.” He winced a little at how deep his voice sounded but hormones raged inside him. “Big turn-on,” he admitted, softening his tone. “It makes me want to claim you.”
Interest sparked in her gaze. “What does that mean?”
He groaned, wanting to show her instead of vocally detailing it for her. “It means you shouldn’t say that to me unless you really mean it. I’d keep you in my bed, Beauty. You don’t need to worry about me with other females. I already avoid them. You’re the only one who tempts me to the point where I’d face anything to touch you.”
They stopped by the bed and her lips parted, her surprise clear. “Really?”
She was so small but she could bring him to his knees. Muscle mass and physical strength had nothing on her when she placed her palm on his lower stomach. Her smooth fingertips rubbed and made him want to howl. Pleasure from such a light touch rushed through his system from his brain to his dick.
“I could be really bad at this, since we’re being so honest. I’ve read books and watched porn on the internet.” She blushed again but kept eye contact. “Should I, um, take off your boxers? I know guys enjoy oral sex. I’ve never actually done that but I know the basics.”
It would be a miracle if he didn’t die before morning. He was going to have to kill himself with restraint. A memory flashed of one of the videos he’d been shown. It had been a camera angle panning down with a human woman on her knees taking a male inside her mouth. The sight had been appealing and made him release his seed but he’d never had it done to him. He shook his head quickly, terrified of shocking her by his raw animalistic reaction or losing control if she attempted that.
“No.” His voice came out as a snarl and he winced. “Let me tend to you.” It would be all about her. He swore that.
“Are you angry?” She tried to remove her hand but he covered it with his own, holding it against his stomach.
“No. I’m turned-on. Very much so. My voice deepens and I might make scary sounds. Ignore them.”
She nodded. “I have heard those sounds through the walls when the women next door had men over. I expected it but I know you’re still upset with me.”
“I’m not,” he swore, already over her catching him masturbating. Now he was focused on getting her into his bed. “You’re going to need to trust me. Can you do that?”
“I already do.”
Yeah, I’m going to die before morning. Beauty was going to kill him. She was so sweet he just wanted to eat her. He smothered a growl at the mental image of her spread out on his bed with his mouth between those pale thighs, licking her pussy. He released her completely to step away.
“Take off your nightgown and lie on your back in the middle of my bed. There’s no need to feel shy. You’re beautiful.”
Beauty hoped she wouldn’t faint. She felt lightheaded and her heart raced so fast it felt as if it might explode from her chest. It wasn’t fear she felt but close. Shadow was going to touch her and she’d finally get to understand why the women at the dorm invited men into their rooms.
Shadow was sexy and big, two things she appreciated. He was the kind of man she’d had fantasies about since she’d gained her freedom. He was strong, intelligent, and she knew he’d actually tend to her, just as he said. She wanted to know what that entailed. First though, she’d have to find the courage to remove the nightgown. He’d already seen her naked but that had been an accident.
Her hands shook as she gripped the hem of the thin cotton and pulled it up slowly. His gaze riveted on her thighs and the hungry expression on his face encouraged her to just whisk it off. His tongue darting out to wet his lips implied he liked what he saw as he openly stared at her breasts.