Shadow - Dohner Laurann. Страница 43

The answer came to him instantly. He couldn’t go back. He’d returned to live with Species as a vacation, not planning to stay, and he’d enjoyed his time in the outside world, but he’d have to stay at Homeland for good.

Shadow entered his room, grabbed clothes from the dresser and sat on the bed. Beauty’s image filled his head when he closed his eyes. Her smile, the way she blushed. Her dark eyes staring intently into his seemed imprinted there forever. She trusted him. He’d been the one she’d chosen to approach for sex. The time they’d spent during that storm had somehow made her pick him.

“Damn,” he rasped.

The idea of walking away from her wasn’t one that sat well within his heart. It ached just considering saying goodbye. Another male would eventually take his place if he left. She didn’t want to be segregated from other Species and obviously enjoyed sex. It meant someone would touch her, kiss her, and put their hands on her lithe body. Rage burned inside until beads of sweat broke out over his skin.

No way in hell. She’s mine!

Astonishment replaced his violent show of temper. He hadn’t meant to form a bond but it was there. He opened his eyes as he rose to his feet to put on a pair of jeans and a tank top. He didn’t bother with shoes and rushed down the stairs in search of her. She sat at the table in the kitchen with two plates of food, waiting for him.

Beauty’s smile at seeing him made him want to kiss her. He didn’t hesitate to crouch near her chair and slide his fingers into her hair at the base of her neck. Her dark eyes widened a second before he brushed his lips against hers. They were so soft, welcoming, and they parted when he licked over the seam.

He wanted her. Blood rushed to his dick until his jeans were uncomfortable. He pulled back to stare into her eyes.

She blushed but didn’t look away. “What was that for?”

“I missed you.”

Surprise then pleasure showed on her beautiful face. “I missed you too.” Her hand lifted to grip his shoulder. “More.” Her chin tilted up, offering her mouth again.

“Let’s eat first.”

The flash of pain wasn’t missed. He wanted her to know it wasn’t a rejection in any form. “I was given drugs to help me heal. I need food to help my system level out.”

“Okay.” Her hand slid away.

“You’re sleeping in my bed again.” He wasn’t sure how he’d handle it if she refused. Not well, was his guess. The air inside his lungs froze, waiting for her reaction.

“I’d like that.”

He breathed again. “Every night.” He couldn’t help but push for more. It was his nature.

“Okay.”

Joy and relief merged as he straightened and took the seat next to her. The desire to stay close was strong. He forced his attention from Beauty to the food. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

He glanced at her to discover her smile. “This smells really good.”

“I know how to cook. I learned how to clean too. I can do laundry.” She nibbled on her bottom lip.

Something bothered her. He shifted his weight to stare at her. “What is it?”

“Nothing.”

He smothered a growl. “Beauty? You have an expressive face.” Beautiful too. Delicate. “What are you thinking?”

“It’s nothing.” Her gaze skirted away.

He growled that time, not holding back his frustration. She appeared startled as her eyes met his.

“Don’t lie to me. No deceit should be between us. You have something on your mind, something you want to say. Spit it out.”

She didn’t smile but instead suddenly took great interest in his tank top.

“Beauty?”

Her shoulders sagged. “It’s stupid.”

“Everything you say matters.”

“Okay. I was just thinking how pathetic you must see me. I made you food and I’m listing off my domestic qualities.”

Confused, he forced her head up gently with a firm grip on her chin. “Those are nice skills. I’m bad at laundry.” The need to assure her was strong. “Do you want to know what new black uniforms being washed with new white socks does? It turned the socks an ugly gray. The team laughed when they saw them the first time we hit the mats to train. No one told me whites should be separated from dark colors, especially ones that have never seen the inside of a washer before.”

“Ellie would never allow us to make that mistake. She’s our house mother who teaches us living skills.” Humor lit up her features before it faded quickly. “I have nothing else to offer you.”

He tried to make sense of what she was saying. He shook his head, at a loss. “I don’t ask for anything.”

“I live with our women. I know they train with our men and they play sports sometimes. They work together at jobs outside the home. I am not trained for anything but house chores.” Color bloomed in her cheeks. “They have a lot of experience with sex too. I don’t. I keep thinking that all I can offer in our relationship is to keep a good home if we were to share one and make you meals instead of you having to eat at the cafeteria. We won’t be able to share work stories or play rough together the way they do. I know nothing about sports or the hundred other things they could talk to you about to keep your interest.”

He struggled to find the right words.

“It’s pathetic.” She tugged out of his hold but kept eye contact. “You didn’t even want to be here.”

He hated the way she gasped when he lunged. The last thing he wanted was her fear but he didn’t stop. She was light when he just scooped her out of the chair to settle across his lap. He liked her there.

“I was afraid I might hurt you but I’ve wanted you since the moment we met.” He hugged her tighter to him. “I’m damaged and was worried that would cripple me when it came to sharing sex.” His fingers stroked her arm, glad she relaxed. “There isn’t a damn thing pathetic or lacking in you, Beauty.” He mentally ticked off her list. “I avoided Species women. It wasn’t just my hang-ups but they are kind of scary.” He softened his tone, smiling.

“Nothing scares you.”

“A lot of things do.” He wouldn’t lie to her. Pride was a small price to pay when it came to making sure Beauty knew her value. “I used to consider sharing sex with one of them and feared my body wouldn’t function. Can you imagine what one of them would do if I couldn’t get an erection?” His eyebrows lifted. “It wasn’t a pretty situation in my thoughts. What if I froze or had a flashback? They are great females but our males don’t seem to have those issues. I imagined them laughing or worse. Pity.”

Beauty saw sincerity in his steady gaze. It made her chest hurt as she snuggled into him, putting her arms around his neck. She loved being held so close to him on his lap.

“I wasn’t put into the breeding experiments much. They rarely sent a female to my cell at Mercile. Then they took me from there and…” his voice trailed off as he swallowed hard. “Abused me with machines and videos of human females. I don’t have that much experience either. It’s been years since I had a real female under me. Don’t you think I was worried that I wouldn’t be good at it anymore? You were abused too. It left me shaking inside thinking I’d remind you of that when I touched you.”

“You don’t. There’s no comparison. You’re really good at it.”

“I’m glad.” He grinned. “Really glad. You are good at it too. I haven’t had a complaint.”

A load of concern lifted from her shoulders.

“All those skills you mentioned are wonderful ones. I had to learn how to cook a little, living at the task force headquarters but I’d hate to have to live off the ten things I know how to make for the rest of my life or always need to stand in a line to find a good meal.” He nuzzled her cheek with his nose. “I’m not a big fan of sports and I’m glad you don’t work with me. I’d be too afraid you’d get hurt to be effective in my duties.”

Her joy dimmed. “I’m weak.”