Young bloods - Scarrow Simon. Страница 103

When a buyer had been found for Merrion Street Arthur was forced to move back into more humble quarters.The small rooms he rented were comfortable enough, but they were eloquent proof of his financial limitations. What made his situation more painful was the affection that Kitty openly admitted to as the year came to an end. She loved him.

She told him so one night at a dinner, when they had crept away to a small alcove as the other guests listened to a recital. He kissed her hand, then her cheek, his heart beating passionately in his breast, and he told her that he loved her too.That he had loved her since they first met at the picnic. They held each other, relishing the physical contact they had been denied for so long. Even as Arthur felt happier, more content, than ever before in his life, he knew that unless his circumstances changed, this moment would taunt him for the rest of his days.

Chapter 72

Spring, 1793

As Arthur Wesley walked his horse up the drive towards Pakenham Hall he felt his heart quicken. On either side the landscaped park stretched out. Only last year it had seemed so inviting. As the backdrop to his developing affection for Kitty it had no equal. Through a thin screen of ancient oak trees the waters of Lough Derravaragh glimmered in the morning sunlight. Close by was an ornamental rosebed that eschewed the geometric perfection of most country parks, and swept across the lawns in a seemingly random manner that was somehow pleasing to the eye. Further off, low hills rolled around the park and basked in a brilliant emerald against the azure sky. A gentle breeze was blowing, tossing the tops of a stand of conifers and rustling through the bare branches of the chestnut trees that lined the drive. Arthur glanced up and almost smiled at the scattering of flawless white clouds that drifted over the land with stately grace.

Over a year ago, when he had first begun officially to court Kitty, the approach to Pakenham Hall filled his heart with a peace and contentment that he had never felt before in his life. All the long years of searching for some kind of purpose to his life, some kind of fulfilment, seemed to be over. In Kitty he had found someone with whom he felt certain he could spend the remainder of his days. Of all the women he had known, only she had provoked that sense of freshness to life that made the prospect of each new day something to be welcomed rather than endured. He would marry Kitty, clear his debts, rent a modest house in Carrington Square, and spend the evenings with his new wife in the parlour, reading or perhaps playing the violin. And then to bed.The thought came at once into his mind, and the scent of her hair and the graceful sweep of her pale neck were almost palpable. An unworthy, unromantic thought, he chided himself, but God, she was beautiful!

Since autumn he had been lost in dreams of matrimony. Each time he rode out to Castlepollard to see Kitty there was always the ecstasy of thinking that she felt as passionately about him. Certainly, the way she looked at him, the contentment she seemed to enjoy in his company, and the occasional kiss she bestowed on him indicated more than a fondness. But when Kitty visited Dublin for one of the endless cycle of balls and picnics, her sparkling wit, and natural beauty drew other officers to her as gaudy bees to a flower.Then every smile she gave them, or sudden burst of delighted laughter, pierced Arthur's heart like a cold steel blade, and the fears of losing her to another man dripped into his mind like poison.

So, he knew the courting must come to an end, one way or another. Either she would be his wife, or… the alternative was too painful to contemplate.

If it had been down to Kitty he was fairly sure that she would consent. She had intimated as much when he had broached the matter a week earlier. The difficulty lay with her brother. Tom Pakenham had inherited the estate in the autumn and was to become an earl when his old and infirm grandmother died. A bright future lay ahead of the young man, and it had understandably gone to his head, Arthur surmised. The prospect of seeing his sister marry a poorly paid army officer with limited scope for any kind of financial or social advancement could not have been appealing. If Arthur was brutally honest with himself, there was no way he would be prepared to see his own sister, Anne, marry below her station for love.The only avenue open to him to try to impress Kitty's stuffy brother was for Arthur to use his seat in parliament to win some kind of a political reputation. Recently he had taken a more prominent role, and spoken against the French people's execution of King Louis. He had also bought a promotion to captain. There had not been so much as one word of grudging praise from Tom Pakenham for Arthur's efforts.

It was clear to Arthur that his stock with the Pakenhams would not rise any further, and that he must risk all and formally ask Tom for the hand of his sister. To which end he had written a most gracious letter asking for an interview to discuss his intentions. Tom had replied in equally gracious terms and invited Captain Arthur Wesley to the Hall. And so he rode up the drive to make the appointment, sick with anxiety that his decision to settle the issue might well result in him losing the chance to wed his beloved Kitty.

The drive curved round a dense growth of rhododendron and there stood Pakenham Hall: an elegant country house with fine views over its landscaped surroundings. Arthur knew that he would never be able to afford the comfort of such a home. He halted his horse for a moment and stared at the Hall. Then he drew a deep breath of the fresh spring air and with a gentle prod from his spurs he urged his horse up the drive towards the main entrance.

Kitty must have seen him approach for he was still some distance off when she came trotting out of the porch, wrapped in a dark cape, and ran towards Arthur. He slid from the saddle, landing with a crunch of gravel, and leading the horse by the reins he strode towards her. As she drew close Kitty looked up and gave him a brilliant smile. For an instant all the doubts and fears of the young officer dissolved in a burst of pure affection and pleasure. Kitty grabbed his arm and pressed herself against his shoulder.

'Arthur! I thought you'd never come!'

He made a show of being disappointed in her lack of faith.'I'm on time, dearest. Punctual almost to the minute.'

'Oh, you!' She punched him lightly on the arm. 'I just meant that I've been waiting in the porch for hours.'

'Hours?'

'Well, it seemed like hours. Anyway,' her tone became more serious, 'you're here now.'

'Yes… Where's Tom?'

'In his study. He's got a few arrears summons to deal with before he'll see you.'

Arthur frowned. This was typical of her brother. Giving priority to some petty difficulties with his tenants over the suitor of his sister was a crude attempt to put his visitor in his place.This latest affront did not bode well. Arthur squeezed her hand under his arm.

'What do you think he will say?'

Kitty shrugged. 'I don't know. Honestly I don't. He's changed so much this last year.'

'Inheriting a fortune has that effect on some men,' Arthur said bitterly, and Kitty gave him a quick glance as he continued, 'He'll refuse me. I feel sure of it. Because I have no money.'

'Not at the moment,' Kitty replied. 'But I know you, Arthur Wesley. I know how much potential you have. One day you'll win your fortune… Not that wealth is important to us,' she added quickly.

Arthur smiled. 'I doubt Tom will be prepared to accept potential as a deposit. To be perfectly honest with you, Kitty, all I can offer you is my love.There is nothing else. Even if I were the heir to my family's name, Dangan Castle is mortgaged, and my mother has had to sell most of her six per cents just to live. All I have is the income from my captaincy and a small allowance from Richard. That's it.'