Slut - Woodruff Jettie. Страница 62
“You could have that, Gabby. There is a man out there that would love you like you deserve to be loved,” Lane said while clearing his throat.
“I want Paxton to love me like that.”
“Well, he doesn’t. Never mind. You said you watched Paxton with his wife that night. What happened after that?”
I laughed a short puffy giggle. “You know, Lane. You caught me, remember? You wanted to know what I was up to. I lied and said I didn’t know he had company, and I left.”
“And I followed you.”
“Yes, you gave me fifty dollars.”
“I swear I was just going to get a hand job and get out of there, Gabby. I didn’t plan that. Candace wasn’t there yet, I was lonely, and I, I’m sorry, Gabby.”
“It’s okay, Lane. At least it made Paxton want me.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, the baby.”
“What baby?”
“My baby, Ophelia. You made her.”
“No I didn’t. That’s not my kid.”
“No, of course not. Paxton is her daddy. He loves her very much. She belongs to him, for sure.”
“Does he hurt her?”
“No way. He loves Rowan, too. Paxton is a great father.”
“But Rowan belongs to him. You don’t think Ophelia does, right? I mean she could be his.”
“I don’t think so. Rowan isn’t his either.”
“Of course she is. What do you mean?”
“She came to my house once. Tatiana. She was shocked that I had Ophelia. She asked me if she belonged to Paxton, and I got mad at her. I told her of course she was his, and she apologized. She said she was with him for eight months and they never used anything, and the first time she spent a weekend with the quarterback of some football team, she got pregnant. She just assumed she belonged to him. That’s when Paxton put the cameras in the house. He was mad at me for letting her in, for letting her near Rowan.”
“He put cameras in your house?”
“Yes, at all the entrances and my bedroom.”
“Why did he put one there?”
“So I knew he was always watching me.”
“You know you could have gotten pregnant by one of those guys from the gang. It could have been one of those.”
I laughed a sleepy laugh. “Except they were all black, and the timing was wrong. You paid to have sex with me three weeks later, and you didn’t pull it out. I remember.”
“Jesus Christ, Gabby. Are you serious right now? You think Ophelia is my daughter?”
“Yes, Paxton can’t have kids.”
“What do you mean? Sure he can.”
“No, I don’t think so. We’ve never used anything, and when we went to the doctor to try for a boy, he told me he couldn’t. He said his sperm count was almost nonexistent. He thinks it’s from the mumps when he was a little boy.”
“Fuck, Gabby. Does Paxton know this?”
“No, I lied to him. I told him the doctor found something wrong with my uterus, something from having Ophelia. He thinks it’s me.”
The ruffling noises were from Lane, standing and walking around the room. No doubt, going crazy.
“I was going to make Nick erase your memory of us ever having sex, not a fucking kid. Fuck.”
“Are you mad?”
“No, no, I’m not mad, Gabby. I’m, fuck. I don’t know what I am.”
“You told me to keep trying with Paxton. You told me that he liked me. You said that, Lane.”
“Yes, because I knew I wouldn’t touch you if you were his. Not because I thought you were having my kid. Jesus, God. I don’t know what to do now.”
I wasn’t sure if the audio stopped on the laptop or my ears. I wanted it to stop. I wanted a redo. I didn’t want to know this. This would devastate Paxton. I listened with my hand over my mouth, holding an empty drink, and wishing for another one. Paxton had three kids and not one of them was his. I swallowed and listened to the noise as Lane entered the room with Nick.
You have to make her forget that we ever had sex. Make her forget that I am Ophelia’s dad. Do it, Nick. You have to. If Candace ever found out she’d leave me in a heartbeat. They’re friends. It’s going to come out. You gotta do this, man.”
“You don’t want your child?”
“She’s four. She knows Paxton as her dad. Erase that shit, Nick. Do it.”
Someone took a deep breath and Nick’s voice made the suggestions. I didn’t get to hear what they were, but I did hear it when it was over.
“I’m going to wake you now, Gabby. I’m going to count backward from ten. Every time I say a number your mind will remember the suggestions I already gave you. You’ll recall them just like any other memory by the time I reach one, okay?”
“Yes, okay.”
Nick counted from ten, slowly, all the way to one. “Wake up. How do you feel?”
“Um, fine. How did I do? Is it gone?”
“How many kids do you have, Gabby?”
“Um, two. You already know that. Why?”
“What are their father’s names?”
“Names? Their dad is Paxton Pierce. What do you mean?”
“Nothing, Gabby, that’s great. Next week, I promise when you wake up, the rape will be out of your mind, and this will all be over with.”
The audio stopped with that right there. I waited for the black box to disappear and closed the laptop. “Good, God, gravy.”
“What? Tell me,” Paxton said from the door, sliding it closed behind him.
I looked up to him speechless for a brief second. I couldn’t tell him that. It would shatter him into tiny little pieces. He would take a boat out to the middle of the ocean and tie a block to his ankle.
“Tell me, Gabriella. What was it all about? What did you learn?”
I took a long breath of sea salt air and spit it out. “I kissed another man.”
Paxton sat beside me and frowned. “What? When?”
“Remember when you made me take that cooking class? The chef owned a bar. He taught me how to make drinks. I liked him. We laughed and had fun,” I said while explaining what I’d just learned. It wasn’t a lie, I did hear that. I just wasn’t about to tell him the rest. I would never tell him that. That secret would follow me to my grave.
“Well, I guess I deserve that. You didn’t mix drinks before your accident. That’s one of the things that convinced me that you were Izzy.”
“I am Izzy.”
“You know what I mean.”
I tried to speak to him like I hadn’t just gotten the most fucked up piece of puzzle there was. “You should probably spank me for kissing another guy.”
“I can definitely do that,” he agreed with a hand already moving below the covers.
I let everything go with Paxton that night. I had to, I couldn’t stand knowing that information, yet in my heart, I always knew there was something. I just didn’t know what. We fucked like wild animals in every thinkable position. We fucked, sucked, licked, clawed, and kissed while my brain held onto what I wanted it to let go of. I shouldn’t have listened. I should have let Nick delete it.
Paxton collapsed first, breathing heavy breaths to the back of my neck.
“You’re squishing me,” I mumbled from below.
He shifted his weight, but only a little. He was still half on top of me. “Jesus, babe.”
I twisted my body, pulling my arm from being under me, and kissed his lips. “I don’t want to see the last video, I don’t want to know what’s in the envelope, and I don’t care about my stone. I love you. Let’s stop.”
“We’re down to one video, and you want to stop?”
“Yes, I don’t care about that anymore. You’re right. Let’s just make better memories, and try to make Vander feel as loved as possible.”
Paxton rolled to his stomach and closed his eyes. “You know you’re not going to do that.”