Slut - Woodruff Jettie. Страница 63

I touched the welts going down his back from my nails and he hissed. “Yes I am.”

“Liar. It’s one more, Gabriella. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering?”

A deep breath escaped my lungs and I knew without a doubt. He was right.

“Pax?”

“Hmm?”

“Where would my stone be? The one the Indian gave my mom and me and Izzy?”

Paxton took a deep breath and rolled over. “You never told me it was something sacred. I didn’t even know you had a sister.”

“Where is it?”

“I threw it out into the ocean.”

“Why?”

“Being a dick, because I could. I asked you what it was, and you told me some scientific name for it. You might have even said hematite. I don’t remember.”

“You threw it in the ocean? I’m sure it meant a lot to me.”

“I’m sure it did, too. You walked the beach every morning, hoping it washed up. You never told me that’s what you were doing, but now it makes sense. I’m sorry.”

I smiled and let it go with a deep breath. “Good thing Mi gave me a new one.”

“Agreed. I love you.”

“I love you too, Paxton. We’re the perfect storm of two kinds of crazy.”

Paxton smiled again with closed eyes, no doubt agreeing with that, too.”

The perfect storm of two kinds of crazy. That was us.

Seventeen

The next day was hard as hell. I felt like I’d been hit by a freaking truck. I just didn’t see how that could be true. Ophelia was a spitting image of him, always needing the control. I just couldn’t fathom it. No matter which way I put it, it wouldn’t sink in.

That’s what my mind was on when Paxton got home from work. I didn’t even hear him come in, not even his truck. I always heard his truck pull in. Rowan was on the steps in the pool, Vander and Phi were digging holes below a pine tree for their dinosaurs, and I was sitting on the end of a chaise lounge. My mind was somewhere in la-la-land, not even paying attention to what went on around me.

“Hey, guys,” Paxton called from right behind me.

“Jesus, Pax. You scared the hell out of me.”

All three kids ran to him like he’d been deployed for twelve months. Paxton paid the same amount of attention to all three of them. He checked out Ophelia’s shark tattoo she’d gotten at the drugstore, he listened to Rowan’s story about the lady screaming in the grocery store because a lizard ran up her arm, and Ophelia laughing at her.

She laughed again when the memory hit her, and then tattled on her cousin. “Mini-Van laughed, too.”

Van shoved her a little with his hip, shooting her a glare. I loved it so much; I just wished Izzy was there to share it. At least I would have had someone to talk to, and I would have. I would have told her everything.

“Hey, Uncle Pax. Did my boxes come with my stuff?”

Paxton sat at the top of my chair behind me and put his hand around my waist. “Not yet, buddy, but I got an email today. Tomorrow for sure.”

“Oh, my, God, Vander Clyde.”

“What’s the matter, Aunt Gabby?”

“Your mom left your birthday present here. It’s down in the cottage. Come on, let’s go see.”

“I’m coming, too,” Ophelia said, leaving her dad’s side for mine. Of course Rowan wanted to go, too.”

I took Phi’s hand, not caring that they tagged along. Paxton was the one that stopped them.

“Rowan, you’re going right to the front step and sweeping up that mess you made. You were supposed to do that before I got home, remember?”

“Phi has to do it. We traded. I cleaned up all her pine needles from the cabana bed, and she said she would clean up the chalk I smashed. She did, didn’t she, Mom?” Rowan explained, serious expression on me, begging for help.

“Yes, Phi made that deal with you.”

“Then I can go.”

“Why don’t you stay here with your dad? You guys can go make the Jell-O if you want,” I offered while reminding her of her request for red Jell-O.

“I want to come,” she countered.

Paxton stood, tossing both of them over his shoulder. “Come on, let’s go clean up the smashed chalk and make red Jell-O.”

Vander and I walked to Paxton’s workshop to get the key for the cottage, talking about snow. He wanted to know how we could have Christmas without it.

“Look on the bright side. You get to go outside and play with all your outdoor toys. When it’s cold and snowy out, you have to wait until spring. By then all your toys are either broke or you’re bored with them,” I explained while I slid open the door.

I never even thought about her car being in there. I mean I knew Paxton brought it there, I just didn’t think about it being his mommy’s or how he would react.

Vander ran to the old car before I could stop him. “My mommy’s here. She came.”

“Oh, baby. No, she’s not here. We brought her car here for when she comes back. We just came in here to get the keys.”

“Oh.”

“I’m never going to stop looking for your mommy, Vander. I promise.”

Vander didn’t really respond. His excitement depleted before it ever got started. I wished I could give him that. I would have done anything to get his mommy back.

“Come on, buddy. Let’s go see what she got you.”

Vander cheered up a little when I let him unlock the door. We stepped in and his eyes saw it right away.

“Hey, this is the one I wanted! She got it! This is the one, Aunt, Gabby,” he said, excitement definitely taking over the gloom. Vander dropped the skateboard to the tile and jumped on it with the biggest smile ever. His little knees bent, and he flipped it with his feet, back to his hands, the smile never leaving his face.

“Look, new shoes.”

“Oh, that’s just like Charlie’s. She tricked me. My mom said the store sold all out.”

I took a picture of him with my phone when he plopped to the floor and removed his shoes, sliding the new sandals on his feet.

I handed him the wrapped box when he stood, stomping his foot off the floor, initiating blue lights.

“Here, Van. This one’s really heavy.”

His face dropped again, just like that. “I know what it is, but I don’t have my other ones anymore. I don’t know where they are.”

“Open it,” I coaxed with a finger, ruffling his hair.

Van sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the blue ribbon. “I can’t read yet,” he said as he handed me the card, pulling a snow globe from the box. He shook it, sending the snow falling all around the circus tent.

“I think I already heard this story.”

I opened the card with a frown, wondering what he meant, but didn’t ask. The ache in my throat was harder to swallow than I thought. I had no saliva to get it down with. My mouth dried when I saw her handwriting. She made her G’s the same way I did. Paxton always said they looked like 9’s

“What’s it say?”

It took me a second to gather my bearings before I could read it. Vander put his little face close to the globe, observing the tiny detail. Tiny lions, elephants, and clowns, placed around the tent.

Hey, my favorite Clyde.

You’re five. Wow. How did that happen?

When Gabby and I were around seven, we got to travel with a circus for a whole summer. We had so much fun, Vander. We even got to do a trampoline act with basketball hoops. It was only the pre-show entertainment while the ringmaster waited for the tent to fill, but it was still our show. We were really good. We called ourselves the Twin Duo. We even had cool circus outfits. This globe is to remind you to go to the circus. Go laugh and have fun with a silly clown. Even when you’re forty. I know I haven’t been the best mommy these last couple years, and I’m sorry, baby, but I promise to have you home by the end of summer. That’s a promise solider.

I love you so much little man. You’re going places. Happy birthday.

Love you always and forever,

Mommy

“It’s a Transformer,” I said while I turned the card, showing him the front. I swallowed away the tears, wanting to grab him and hold him so tight. Of course I didn’t do that. I had a hard enough time trying not to cry. I would have sobbed like a baby if I did that.