Tainted Black - Williams Shanora. Страница 55

“About me?” I narrowed my brows, releasing my legs. “Why would you be worried about me? You hardly even know me.”

“Well, see, it’s weird ‘cause I feel like I know a lot about you. All my mom ever does is talk about you. She’s always wanted a girl. You’re good to her. Sweet to her. She loves that you don’t act like the average female your age.”

Something about the way he said that made a few parts of me soften. It could have been the kindness in his voice or how his mouth twitched to fight a smile. I realized then that Sterling was no creep. He was just a man that wasn’t sure how to take me. He didn’t understand me or why I did the things I did, but he never bothered bringing it up again.

When I thought of it, I actually appreciated him for not telling anyone about Theo coming through my window—especially Margie. Maybe he wasn’t so much of a weirdo after all.

I eased up a little, shoulders dropping, but he stayed in the same place. I noticed then that he had a tattoo on his shoulder. It looked familiar, then I noticed it was an exact replica of the tattoo Theo had below his collarbone. A jagged looking U. The Union.

Holy… fucking… shit.

He saw where my eyes landed, and he covered it. “You know about this?”

I pretended I didn’t. “Nah. What’s it mean?” I asked, brows creased. I pushed off the bed, walking towards him.

His Adam’s apple bobbed. “It’s stands for the Union. It was a… gang I was in when I was younger. I’ve changed.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “I see that.”

“You know, it kinda hurt my feelings when you called me a creep the other week,” he teased, chuckling.

My mouth twitched, but I couldn’t fight my smile. “I’m sorry… you were just really, really starting to weird me out. Why do you watch me swim?”

“I used to swim a lot.”

I was surprised to hear that. Margie never mentioned he was a swimmer. “I took up the hobby after college. The water was soothing. I loved how it felt going through my hair, surrounding me.” He shrugged. “Used to have a really bad temper. I’m ten times better than who I used to be. I don’t swim as much now since I work so much, but when I get the chance, it’s amazing.”

“Swimming helps me relax too.” I stepped back.

He blinked twice before looking me straight in the eyes. “Do you love that man over there?”

It was my turn to blink as if I were clueless. “Who? Theo?”

“I assume that’s his name.” Sterling smirked.

I sat back down, blowing a breath. “I… do. He means a lot to me.”

“How long have you known him?”

“Since I was twelve.”

Sterling’s eyes went wide. “He’s been hitting on you ever since you were twelve? Sounds like a fucking pervert.”

“No, he was not hitting on me since I was twelve. I was nineteen when we actually… did something. But by that time, he was really spiraling, and he was no longer married.” I remembered that night clearly. I would never forget it. I sighed.

“I guess I can’t blame you. I know the feeling.”

My face warped with confusion. “Of what?”

“Of falling in love with someone you know you can’t have. Someone older… a generation or two ahead of you.”

My heart pitter-pattered, the beats light, but blood whooshed in my ears. Sterling rubbed the back of his neck, eyes avoiding mine. And then I saw it… shit. All this time I thought Margie was the one that had fallen for an older man—a forbidden lover—but it was her son who’d fallen for the older lover. Sterling had obviously told his mother everything. No wonder she knew so much, and no wonder she could sympathize.

“Maybe now you can see why I’ve been kinda worried about you. I know how hard it is to let that go—to move on. It’s hard to think about, especially when it’s mutual. You know, my mom kinda told me the man was also your best friend’s dad. She had no right to tell me, but it was one of those days where she couldn’t stop talking… and I kinda forced it out of her.”

Damn it, Margie! I snatched my gaze away.

Sterling stepped forward. “You don’t have to feel ashamed, alright?” I looked up, and he was still watching me. “Trust me, I understand your struggle. I have no room to judge anyone on this God green earth.”

“Hmm.” I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Hey—can I tell you a story? I think you’d be interested. It’s pretty similar to what you’re going through.” He put on a friendly smile, and surprisingly, the lopsided curve of his mouth intrigued me. I wanted to know his story. I wanted to know what he did to come out of his taboo affair.

“Sure.” I scooted towards the edge of my bed.

Turning only a fraction, he grabbed my pink chair and pulled it to the center of the room, near my bed. He sat down, folding his fingers in front of him, his elbows on top of his thighs.

“So, when I was twenty, I joined this gang called the Union. The craziest, wildest time of my life… but that only lasted for a little while. They make you do some pretty crazy shit. A gang like that attracted naive, young-minded men like me. Especially young men that had been abused, neglected, or abandoned. My dad used to hit me and my mom when—well, you know. I’m sure you can put two and two together.” His smile was uneasy.

Wow. That explained so much, not only with him, but with Margie as well.

“Anyway, The Union doesn’t believe in true love,” he told me. “They think women were put on this earth for them to fuck and have their babies, but they don’t think love is necessary to the life they live. I didn’t understand why they didn’t believe in love, and I hated they didn’t because I was falling in love with someone. It was natural and real and extremely hard to ignore or avoid. I knew the Union would never understand or accept it, so I kept my love a secret. I never wanted them to find out.” Sterling looked down, his breathing going heavy. “I… uh…” He struggled with a smile and a frown. “Shit, I don’t even know why I feel so comfortable telling you this, but she was a great woman. I worked with her often. I was surprised she gave me a job. I guess she knew I needed it. And she was kind enough to give me a chance.

“She hated my lifestyle with a passion, but she was very sympathetic. Her compassion was overwhelming. It made me bloom, feel things I never thought possible. So, I started showing up for work more to make her happy and making less appearances with the gang of men that thought love was a stupid, made up word. With each day, I fell more and more in love with her, and after only a few weeks I couldn’t stay away.”

“Aw.” I smiled. “She must have been really great if she could make you come out of the gang on your own.”

“Ha. She was, trust me. I loved that woman with a passion. Everything about her made my heart pound. She loved me a lot. She’d work late for me, just so we could spend time together. When my car broke down, she would pick me up for work… but that was the mistake… her coming to my home.”

His eyes swarmed with emotion as he cleared his throat. “The Union… they’d been watching me. They saw her. I never told them I wanted to drop out because, with my father gone and my mom always working, they were sort of my family—people to keep me company. But when they saw her picking me up, it caused all hell to break loose.” He focused on the wall across from him. “I was doing so good, going to school for her. I wanted to make her proud. I’d always loved music, so I focused on making that my career and was lucky enough to graduate. But… just when I thought everything would get better, it got so much worse.

“During my graduation night, she was brutally robbed and stabbed. Her life was taken, and I didn’t know it until two days after I graduated.” I gasped sharply, the pieces of his stories all too familiar. My eyes were wide as hell, and the drumming of my heartbeat had come to a cease as I listened to Sterling’s every single word. That story… robbed and stabbed? Three years ago… oh my god.