Slow Twitch - Реинхардт Лиз. Страница 56
“So that qualifies you for boyfriend of the year?” Her voice stretched tight and vicious, a rubber band pulled to its limit and about to snap against unsuspecting flesh with a skin-bruising smack.
“I didn’t say that,” I said. “It should give me a shot, though.”
“Well, it doesn’t.” Her words lost their sharp edge and edged around general panicked fury. “Just because I agree to sneak out with you doesn’t mean that I want to date you.”
That might have burned, except I could see that she was completely full of shit. “Come here.” She shook her head, so I came closer to her. I half expected her to run, but, like I said, she was full of shit so she held still until I was right next to her, the two of us breathing hard and fast.
“I’m worth taking a chance on Cadence.” I stared right at her pouty lips, dry and in need of chapstick. Or licking.
“You’re fucked up.” She spoke to the ground, and I knew it was because she thought looking at me might shake her resolve. “I’m done with screwing up.”
“I’m not fucked up,” I said, then thought about that statement. “Alright, I’m a little fucked up. But I care about you.”
She shook her head. She was intoxicatingly good-looking. “Not good enough. It’s just words. And I’ve heard them all before.”
“I’ve done a lot,” I confessed. “I’m not ashamed of it. I did it because I wanted to know what it would feel like. But I’m smart enough to know that it wasn’t all worth it. Drugs weren’t.”
Her eyes flicked up in surprise, but she didn’t say anything, just nodded quickly.
“Sex with so many people wasn’t worth it either,” I added.
She looked at me curiously, and I realized that I was probably giving away more than I needed to. She didn’t know everything I was infamous for. But what I was saying was unlocking something in her, and I was willing to put it all on the line to see her respond to me.
“There’s a lot that I’m aware of when it comes to my own fucked up life. For instance, I’m not content to sit on my ass and spend my massive inheritance,” I started. And then it poured out. I don’t even know where it all came from. If I had given it one damn minute of thought, I would have turned on my heel and walked the fuck away. But it just poured out and I had no control over it at all. “I don’t want to think of Aunt Helene rotting in this piece of shit house she’s in, because I love her. I always liked Brenna, and now that I fucked it all up, I’m afraid I don’t have the right to ask for her friendship. I’m crazy jealous of Jake, always have been. I can’t stand my mother and it breaks my fucking heart a little to admit that she honestly doesn’t give a shit about me. School is only boring for me because I’m so busy keeping up my bored act, and it’s tiring as hell. This summer has been the best time of my life. And I knew I wanted you the minute I set eyes on you the first day I came to your parents’ piece of shit restaurant. You and I are both hiding behind a lot of crap, but all that crap got ripped down for me this summer. And it’s time someone did it for you.” I felt my adrenaline raging hard and fast through my system.
She was looking at me, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open. I didn’t even know what I was saying, just that I had to say it and it had to be now or the summer would be gone and so would Cadence. The thought of losing her before I’d had a chance to get to know her choked me.
“So,” she said slowly, her face close to mine, “you’re going to rip down everything I’m hiding behind?” Her voice was husky and sweet, just the combination to make me think about peeling her clothes off and touching and licking her until she couldn’t push me away. But I had done that before, and I knew it never lasted. It was a pussy way out, and Cadence deserved better.
“I am.” I kept my hands fisted at my sides. Jesus Christ she was hot, all sure of herself and pissy in the moonlight. But I had to prove to her that I deserved what she’d never bothered to give anyone else before.
Not that.
I wanted her trust.
“I am the one,” I repeated. “I know about you. I know that you work like a slave, and you don’t bitch about it, even when you pull your skates off and your feet are bloody.” Her head jerked a little. I could read the shock in her eyes. “I know that you read trash and the great stuff and you always have a novel tucked in your apron. Last week it was Foreverby Judy Blume. Right now? East of Edenby Steinbeck. Which I love, by the way. I know that you love to let loose and sing, and I know that you don’t because you don’t want anyone to see you doing something that crazy, because you’re proud of how in-control you always manage to stay. And I don’t know for sure why you date assholes like Jeff, but I’m willing to bet it’s because you know right off the bat it’s not going to work out, so there’s no risk. And if there’s no risk, you can let it end without getting hurt, you can stay in control of the whole thing. But that’s not the way to do it.”
“It’s not?” Cadence pushed her hair behind her ear with shaky fingers. “How would you know?”
“Because the weeks I had with Brenna showed me that caring for someone makes a difference. Even if it falls apart in your hands, even if it rips your fucking heart out, it’s worth it. And I want to take that risk with you.”
I had already said ten times more than I even meant to, and I had a fairly strong feeling all of this was going to blow up in my face. But at least I had the balls to say what I needed to say. For once.
She put her hands out and grabbed my fists, wiggled her fingers into them and pulled me closer to her, so close there was nothing to do but crash into each other. So we did.
I kissed her, her hot mouth open and full of small, eager sex sounds. My hands roamed over the threadbare cotton of her tanktop and felt the warm promise of her skin under the fabric. I roamed lower, grabbing her ass hard in my hands and pulling her to me possessively. She pulled my shirt over my head and it fell on the soft play sand. I glanced around to see if anyone might stumble by and notice two horny teens getting their freak on, but it was like we were in some weirdly private alcove, a million miles away from the living, breathing city. She ran her hands down along my back, and her nails dug light trails from my shoulder blades to my waist.
I pressed her against the scratchy bark of an overgrown tree that offered an extra dose of privacy, dragged her shirt over her head and pushed the cups of her purple bra down. She had gorgeous tits, even more incredible than I’d imagined. I hiked her up higher, and she pressed her back against the bark and her hair was tumbling down all over her shoulders, getting wild and messy as I kissed down her neck and her delicate collar bones and then sucked her nipple in and listened to her moan.
Her legs were wrapped around my hips, and I moved one hand down to the soft line of her leg and followed it up her thigh and felt the warm heat of her through her underwear. I sucked harder and felt her hands dig into my hair. I pushed a finger up into her damp heat and practically got my hair ripped out at the roots. She squirmed against my hand hard, her hips pushing against me.
I could hardly get a rhythm going, she was moving so fast and squirming so much. And it was the most turned-on I had ever been in my life. I had opened the dam with all my semi-lame heartfelt confessions, but she had let loose physically. I had never been with anyone who just threw herself into sex like Cadence did.
I moved my fingers fast against her until her breathing was just a bunch of ragged pants, and she suddenly pulled back and cried out and dug her hands hard into my shoulders. Technically all I had gotten from the whole thing was a soaked hand and a raging boner, but I felt completely satisfied. Making her come made me feel good, and, for once, I wasn’t concerned with my own horndog needs.