In Your Heart - Smeltzer Micalea. Страница 59
“Are you still hungry after all of those brownies?” She asked, standing up and heading towards the back door. “I’m sure your dad’s finished with the burgers by now.”
“Nah,” I shook my head. “Maybe later. I think I’m going to get my stuff and lay down for a bit.”
“Okay.” She hugged me, the kind of hug that made me feel like I was going to suffocate, but secretly loved. “Everything’s going to be okay.” She took my face in her hands. “You’ll see.”
“I hope so,” I replied. My mom had never been wrong before, but there was a first time for everything.
I was sitting at the table eating breakfast when the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it!” My dad called from his den.
My body had completely frozen over.
Could it be?
“Emma!” I heard my dad boom and my shoulders sagged. It wasn’t him. Of course it wasn’t, but I’d dared to hope.
Footsteps sounded towards the kitchen and then Emma and my dad appeared in the doorway.
“You look a lot better.” And she did. Her skin was back to its normal color and there was some pink in her cheeks. She didn’t look as tired either.
“I feel better.” She pulled out a chair and sat down.
My dad quietly left the room.
“So…” She tapped her fingers restlessly against the tabletop. “I was right about you and Ezra?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure he told you everything.”
“He didn’t say too much,” she shrugged, “but it was impossible not to hear you yelling in the hallway.”
“Oh, right.” I winced.
She gave me a sympathetic look.
“I really made a fool of myself, didn’t I?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I think it’s about time you stood up for your feelings instead of burying them.”
I stared up at the ceiling, my bowl of cereal forgotten. “I tried so hard not to fall in love with him,” I whispered.
“We can’t control who we love. We just do.”
“It just sucks when the person you love doesn’t love you back.”
Her lips pressed into a thin line, but she said nothing.
“Anyway,” I stood up, emptying my uneaten cereal into the sink, “I’m going shopping today for my place. Do you want to come with me? I could always use your opinion.”
When I turned back around Emma was smiling. “I’d love to help. And maybe while we’re shopping you could tell me all about what’s been going on this summer that you tried so hard to hide.” She stood and bumped her shoulder against mine.
“We were pretty obvious, huh?”
“You think?” She laughed. “I’ve always been rooting for you guys though. I just…I guess I always thought you’d be the stubborn one about a relationship, not him. It’s always been clear to me how he feels about you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, padding down the hall to the tiny guestroom. It had a futon instead of a bed, and my back was aching today from how uncomfortable it had been.
“He loves you. I think he’s scared, though.”
“He doesn’t love me,” I protested, shaking my head as I searched through my suitcase for something to wear.
Emma sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. When I looked over my shoulder at her she seemed torn about something.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she responded quickly, too quickly.
I arched a brow.
“It’s nothing,” she repeated.
“Whatever.” I wasn’t in the mood to argue with her. We’d done far too much of that the last few months. It was time to put everything in the past.
I dressed in a pair of shorts and a loose top. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and grabbed my purse.
“I’m ready.”
We drove around to the various furniture stores in town and I was able to find everything I needed.
From there we headed to Target so I could get things for the kitchen and bathroom. I had nothing of my own to take to my place, so it was fun to be able to pick out new things. It gave me something to smile about when it felt like my life had gone to shit around me.
All while we shopped I explained to Emma about my arrangement with Ezra, and why I hadn’t wanted to tell her. She seemed to see where I was coming from and gave me much needed support.
“I feel like such an idiot,” I confessed to her, when we sat down at a little cafe to get a bite to eat.
She stayed mysteriously quiet, perusing the menu like it was the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen.
“Come on, Emma. You have to have some sort of opinion on my idiocy.”
She shook her head and finally lowered the menu. “I think you’re both idiots.”
“What?” I laughed.
“He’s a dumb boy that was too stupid to realize his feelings until it was too late, and you’re stupid to have walked away without giving him a chance to explain where he was coming from.” She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest, leveling me with a glare.
“What do you mean about that first part?” I asked hesitantly.
She waved away my words. “I said I wouldn’t say anything. And Ezra’s my friend too, so my lips are sealed.” She mimed zipping her lips. “You need to talk to him though.”
I shook my head and picked up my glass of water the waiter had left. “I’m not ready. I need some space to clear my head.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Y’all better not mess up my wedding. You do remember that he’s supposed to escort you down the aisle?”
“Unfortunately, I hadn’t forgotten that tidbit of information.”
“No fighting at my wedding. I mean it,” she warned. “I’ll kick you both. Don’t doubt me.”
I managed to laugh. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”
Ezra might get the silent treatment, but I’d never do anything to jeopardize Emma’s special day.
“Promise me you’ll talk to him.”
“I promise,” I whispered, but we both knew those words were a lie.
WE NEED TO TALK.
The four words glared up at me from the screen of my phone.
Please Sadie.
Don’t ignore me.
I stuffed my phone in my back pocket. I didn’t have time for this. I didn’t need him to tell me to my face how he was sorry for everything, and that he’d never meant for any of this to happen, that everything was supposed to be simple until I had to go and ruin it.
I set the shopping bags down on the kitchen counter in my new place. All the furniture had been delivered and Emma had come by to help me unpack. Not that there was really anything to unpack. I think she just didn’t want me to be alone.
I rifled through the bags until I found the one with the plates. Once I located it I sat it on the dining room table and took a seat to start peeling off the price stickers.
“This place is nice,” Emma commented, looking out one of the tall windows.
“Thanks. I really like it.”
She took a seat and grabbed half of the plates.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and her brows rose in interest. “Is that him?”
“Possibly.”
She slapped her palms against the table. “I’m getting married in a week. Fix this,” she hissed.
I rolled my eyes. “I promise that my love life will not interfere with your wedding.”
She groaned. “Forget messing up my wedding, think of this as a gift instead. You two working out your problems would be the best wedding gift you could give me.”
I eyed her. “Better than your dress?”
“Yep, that would be even better than my dress.”
“I don’t even know what to say to him.” I dropped my head in my hands, the plates lying forgotten on the table.
“Then don’t say anything to him. Let him do all the talking.”
I nearly rolled my eyes out of my head. “Ezra? Talking?”
“It’s true that he’s a man of few words, but when he does have something to say it’s usually important and you should listen.”
“When did you become my therapist?” I jested.